


this is just to say

by likebrightness



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Big Sister Alex Danvers, Bisexual Kara Danvers, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff, Gen, post-ep, post-episode s02e11, sister time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likebrightness/pseuds/likebrightness
Summary: Alex sleeps on it, and decides she and Kara didn’t talk enough. Kara split a cupcake with her and then acted like things were okay— things are never okay if Kara shares food that easily. As much as it pains Alex to think, the White Martian version of herself was right; they really haven’t been communicating well.The next morning, Alex gets a dozen donuts, plus a pizza, because Kara will eat pizza regardless of time of day, and goes to Kara’s.





	

Alex sleeps on it, and decides she and Kara didn’t talk enough. Kara split a cupcake with her and then acted like things were okay— things are never okay if Kara shares food that easily. As much as it pains Alex to think, the White Martian version of herself was right; they really haven’t been communicating well.

The next morning, Alex gets a dozen donuts, plus a pizza, because Kara will eat pizza regardless of time of day, and goes to Kara’s.

“Hey,” Kara says, grinning as she opens the door and already reaching for the pizza. “What’s up?”

“We didn’t talk enough.”

Alex puts the donuts on Kara’s kitchen island and takes one for herself. They both slide onto a stool. Neither of them bother with plates.

“We didn’t?”

“No,” Alex says. “And obviously one cupcake was not enough to celebrate earth birthday.”

Kara doesn’t even look sheepish about being on her fourth slice of pizza. She just tilts her head and lets Alex continue.

“Here’s what I think we should do,” Alex says. “Talk. About everything and anything. Once I thought about it, I understood why you felt like I was pulling away. There’s a lot of stuff going on in both of our lives and we haven’t— I don’t know— dissected it like we usually do. And I think when we do, we’ll both feel better in general, and about us, about how we’ll always have each other.”

Kara nods, chewing. “Yes,” she says, still nodding. “I like this idea.”

Alex already knows what she’s going to say. It’s big and scary and she’d rather not say it, and that’s exactly why she should tell Kara. That’s the kind of stuff they’ve always talked about. Alex is nervous, though, and thinks she might lose her nerve, so she just goes and says it.

“I don’t know that I’m good enough for Maggie.”

“Um, _excuse me_?” Kara practically shouts it. “You are the _best_.”

Alex appreciates that Kara is immediately ready to fight for her, but she needs to talk about this.

“Just let me say this,” Alex says, and Kara visibly attempts to relax herself. Her hand not holding pizza is still in a tight fist. “She’s just been really great. And I’m afraid I’m gonna mess things up. I already did, once, and I don’t want to again.”

“What do you mean you already did?”

God, they really haven’t been communicating well. She hasn’t even told Kara about what happened.

“When you were on Slaver’s moon, I wasn’t— I didn’t handle it well,” Alex says. “You know how I told you she figured out you were Supergirl because I was so upset about Supergirl being missing?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, when I was upset— she came to the DEO to check on me and I—” She feels stupid just saying it. “I told her it was a bad idea— _we_ were a bad idea. I told her to go.”

“Alex,” Kara says, soft and almost heartbroken.

“I _know_ ,” she says. “I just— she took me back, obviously. But what if I do something stupid like that again? What if I get stressed and I do something dumb and— I like her _so much_ , Kara. _Too_ much, probably. That’s another thing I’m scared about. What if I’m moving too fast? What if I’m falling for her and she’s just having fun?”

“Alex,” Kara says again. “Anyone who has seen the way she looks at you knows she’s not just having fun.”

“I’m just so scared I’m going to mess it up.” She shoves the rest of her donut in her mouth. It’s too big a bite.

“You’re not going to mess it up,” Kara says. Then she changes her mind. “No, you know what? You probably are. And she is, too. A relationship isn’t something anyone is perfect at. People mess up. That doesn’t mean the relationship is going to end. Getting through bad things makes a relationship _stronger_. Like you pushed her away, right?”

Alex nods, even though it seems like Kara is on a roll and doesn’t need her to.

“But through that, she figured out I was Supergirl, so now you don’t have this big secret weighing on you. That’s a _good_ thing. And she was obviously fine with you being trapped in the DEO instead of at the Barenaked Ladies concert. Things happen, things go wrong. But you two will work through them.”

Alex finally swallows her last bite of donut. “That sounds rational,” she says. “Which is why it has no effect on me whatsoever and I’m still terrified. I’m not being _rational_. I’m being— I’m being— well, way too close to in love for having just started dating, for one.”

Kara’s smile goes _huge_ , her big, goofy, _thrilled_ one, and Alex tries not to smile back at her even though the thought of being in love with Maggie makes her stomach swoop.

“This isn’t good!” Alex insists. “It’s scary!”

“That’s allowed,” Kara says. “I know you’re used to being big sister DEO agent very strong and brave and not afraid of anything, but it’s allowed. She’s probably afraid of messing it up, too.”

“She couldn’t,” Alex says immediately. “She’s perfect.”

“And I’m sure she thinks the same of you,” Kara smiles. “Also, like. You should tell her this, not just me.”

Alex sighs. “Yes. You’re right. I will. Maybe.”

Kara rolls her eyes and tugs Alex off her stool. They’re both done eating by this point, and Kara doesn’t let go of Alex’s hand, keeps pulling her over to the couch.

“I’ve missed this,” Kara says. “Sister time.”

“One night a week,” Alex says. “From now on. It doesn’t have to be the same night every week, but one night a week. No squelching.”

“No squelching,” Kara says, offers her pinky for a promise.

Alex catches Kara’s pinky with her own. “Okay,” she says. “Your turn to talk.”

Kara takes a breath, puts on her determined face.

“I don't like Mon-El.”

“Okay,” Alex says. That's better, really. Alex thought she did, so of course she was going to push Kara to try things with him. But really? Alex doesn't think he's good enough for Kara. Alex doesn't think anyone is good enough for Kara, probably.

“I don't,” Kara says. “He doesn't listen, and he only wanted to be a good person to get into my pants, and…” she glances at Alex, trails off. She tries again. “Ever since you came out…”

Alex wants to defend herself before Kara even says anything about her pulling away, but they're supposed to be _listening_ to each other, so she stays quiet.

“I've been—” Kara picks at the fringes of the throw pillow in her lap.

Alex thinks her sister might need help with whatever she's trying to say. She reaches over and squeezes Kara’s hand.

“You can tell me.”

“I know,” Kara says, flipping her hand over to interlace their fingers. “It just feels—it feels like I'm taking something from you if I say it.”

Alex furrows her brow. “What could you possibly be taking from me?”

“You're gay, you know?” Kara says and Alex does everything she can not to laugh because yes, she does know that, _finally_. “And I'm not, I don't think so, but I don't know, I've been thinking about these women in my life _differently_ since you came out, but I don't want to like, steal your identity.”

That was— not what Alex expected. But still: “Having your own identity isn't stealing mine, Kara.”

Kara shrugs like she’s not sure she believes her. “It’s just— I’m really _not_ trying your identity on for size or anything. I just never thought about Cat or Lena like that before and now—”

“Oh my God.”

Kara grimaces. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t even know how I feel. You think it’s ridiculous!”

“I don’t think it’s ridiculous,” Alex says. “I think you have terrible taste in women!”

“What?!” Kara pulls her hand away.

“Apparently your type is evil?” Alex is only half-teasing. “Your former boss who didn’t even call you by the right name, and a _Luthor_?”

“You know how much she is doing to change her company,” Kara says sternly. “And Cat was— mean, maybe, sometimes, but in ways that made people better, that made me better. I worked harder because she was so demanding. Worked harder as Kara and Supergirl both.”

This _is_ ridiculous, Alex thinks.

“Kara,” she says. “I know you and James broke up before you ever really started. Is this just because you haven’t found the right guy?”

Kara throws a pillow at her. Alex cackles.

“I take it back,” Kara says. “I hate sister time.”

“You love me,” Alex says. “And girls, apparently.”

“I don’t _love_ them,” Kara insists. “I don’t even know if I _like_ them. I just— I don’t know. Girls are kind of great, you know?”

Alex grins. “They kind of are.”

“Guys are, too, sometimes,” Kara says and Alex wrinkles her nose. “I mean, I still like guys. I know I like guys. I just, um, maybe like girls, too.”

“Not a straight Danvers sister left, huh?”

Kara ducks her head, blushes a little. “I guess not.”

Alex bumps her shoulder against Kara’s, and Kara moves with it, the way she always does. She could stay so sturdy Alex would break a bone, but she always acts like Alex is strong enough to make her body move. With other people she forgets, sometimes, like the officer at the jail when Livewire got out, but with Alex, Kara always bends.

“Sister night,” Alex says. “Once a week.”

“Once a week,” Kara agrees. She disappears for a second and reappears with the box of donuts.

“You have to provide the food sometimes,” Alex says, taking another donut. “I can’t afford to feed you every time.”

Kara agrees through a mouthful of chocolate sprinkle. Alex smiles at her. She really loves her sister.

“I can’t believe your type is evil CEOs,” Alex says.

Kara throws another pillow at her.

 

 


End file.
